Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Pardon me, your vagina is showing!

Do you miss me? Did you miss me? Am I bothering you? I just like you soooo much!

Gentlemen,

This is a good thought to remember both before (especially before) and after you bag a lady.

If you're taking the online dating route and chatting with a girl prior to a meeting, it's really inappropriate to show your panties. Women would like a man that is a man - whatever we say, there really is a fine balance there - we do want you to be sensitive, we do want you to show concern and pay attention to what we say, but we also need you to buck it up and be a man.

Girls who love boys who follow them around like puppy dogs are the exception, not the rule. So, if the first time you ask "Do you miss me?" when you have (omg!) gone a whole two hours without texting one another, and your potential lady love does not reply with "OMG I missed you soooooo much!" or comes back with a sly "no" disguised as something funny (or my own personal backup - "I'm sorry, your lady bits are showing!"), this is your biggest clue to not ask again. Particularly when you haven't met face to face.

You see, some girls find it really difficult to identify an action like missing someone with someone they've never met face to face. Some girls want to play it easy on that end - they don't want to immediately say "Yes, my tendonitis was healing while you were gone but I LOVE tendonitis just like I love you!". In fact, I would say most girls would like to play a little harder to get than that. So it's cute once or twice, but certainly not every day, several times a day.

See - we want you to man up. If you are more emotional than we are, that is fine. If you are more emotional than we are and want to express all of that in text messages and emails before you've even met us face to face... please refrain. Usually a girl who enjoys being tagged and forced to tell you exactly how much she missed you will begin the liberal dispensing of that phrase on her own long before you even think about it.

Once you've actually entered into a relationship with a woman, it should be very clear whether or not she wants to deal with all of that emotional girlchildery. Proceed appropriately.

If you're not in a relationship with us yet - we like knowing that you're interested, but we don't want to feel obligated to you before we even meet you. For your sake and the sake of everyone else, back it off a little. Particularly in the case of internet dating, girls miss the coy flirtation, the teasing back and forth - immediate proclamations of femininity can wait for later, we promise!

Signed,
A Girl

Nice Boys Do

Have you ever sat around with your girlfriends talking about all of the potential things men can do but don't - to show how sincere they are, how much they care, and prove that they're not secretly sporting vaginas (or manginas) at the same time?

That's what "Nice Boys Do" is - a culmination of whinging from girls about things that men can do to not come off as douchebags. An open letter to guide them along the way to being a sensitive, in touch, thoughtful man without sacrificing their manliness (or showing us their panties!). All those little things you want to say to the man in your life but worry about hurting their feelings over.

Most of all, the goal of "Nice Boys Do" is to make boys nicer, make their lives easier, and make their girlfriends happier with them!